Life as a Oddity

I do well under pressure

2006-08-22T08:55:00.000-07:00

As seen by my last entry life is a little weird without my mention that i am a freak magnet.
My mom's boyfriend claims to have billions over in Europe and his ex-wife is stalking my mother.
Just part of a big story.
One story of many.
I guess thats why do so well under pressure, like when I was watching TV on night and saw a man stareing back at me through the slideing glass door. I ran up jumped outside and started to chase him, he got but still.
I seem emotionless to some. I have a hard time crying. I wish i could display my emotions, instead i'm trapped with them in my brain working mechanicly.
I know it makes no sense.

My Mother Hates me

2006-08-22T08:23:00.000-07:00

I think the only joy in her life is to stick her claws down into my flaws and rip me up. Over stupid stuff too, like she'll throw stuff and yell and cuss about how she wishes she never had me and how she hates me, over what? Putting the bowls in the wrong direction in the dishwasher, like one way doesnt clean better than the other and they both fit the same amount of bowls in them.
Today it was that I didnt close my doucuments on the computer fast enough. It wouldnt be so bad, the yelling it is, if she didnt attack unrelated things in her rages, like my grades, my personal social life, how i look and dress, how i spend my time, or something really heartfelt i said to her- everything has a flaw. Lets say i did a load or two of laundry that morning, she would do something like, "B**** I need to use the computer! Get the f*** off it! (insert various ranting here) You cant do anything right! Cant even fold clothes you little b*** I'm going to have to go through and iron half of my tops because your to retarted to know not to leave them in the dryer overnight!"
Several of my friends are afraid to comeover to my house because they've seen her "loose it" and freak out at me. Heck, my older half-sister; Marylin she doesnt even come home anymore because of it.
But when she isnt being a sociopath she is a really nice woman- I think she's bipolar, they said another symptom is exsessive spending- Yeah, stuff like; After her surgery she was out of work for more than a year( she's just now about to recive her first paycheck) and as soon as she could move she went out and bought all this new furniture and expensive shoes, everyone else is trying to figure out how o pay the house payment and eat.
She doesnt apologize or say she didnt mean it or anything later. I'm not human enough to recive an apology or be treated as a real person.
Someday she will be sorry, when she relizes how she has treated me and how she destroyed our relationship. I like to think of that when she gets like that, that even though she hurts me now someday she will relize what she's done.
Someday everyone will relize it, Marylin for abandoning me; my famialy for ignoreing it, everyone willl get it someday- I hope their arnt such hash relazations waiting for me.

I guess the reader thinks I'm a jerk, really though, If I could capture her in words you wuld understand, or maybe not, maybe you all have nice mothers that pay for your lunch and tell you they love you and how they hope everything turns out OK for you. Maybe you don't have to walk around on eggshells in your own home, hopeing today you dont push her over the edge into something drastic.
I know this sounds cruel but i hope i'm not compleatly alone in this.

World Peace

2006-08-20T19:35:00.000-07:00

"Hello Ryan Walters here covering the "Miss United States" Bueaty Padget here in the bueatiful Alanta, Georgia! Comeing up is Miss. Kiersten Hearn from Savanah!"
"Now as many of you know these padgents are more than bathing suits and perfect curls, this is finding the Miss. United States that displays this wonderfull countrey inside and out, leading us onto our next compitition; Interviews."
"Now, Keirsten, What would you wish for more than anything else in the world?"
"A new mini-dress. Ha, ha, no, it would have to be World Peace."

What a stupid thing to wish for, but yet, we all do.

If we were to have world peace that would mean that the people getting abused and starving have just decided, "Well, my children can never get an education, I'll have to work until I phisicly collapse and still not be able to make a life for myself, I am over taxed and restrained. Oh well, I'll just settle for it."

True I can never make it as a model; but i choose equality and war.
Support the War in Iraq.

I can't Stand my Mother's boyfriend

2006-08-20T19:34:00.000-07:00

Such a butt hole

Hullo! My first entry and a request;

2006-08-04T19:55:00.000-07:00

My apologies for my salutations, too many Agatha Cristy books, (the mysterys are her only good stuff) PLEASE if you read this leave comments and advise. Like many people I often find myself with my fingers in many pies; Pies with those gobi desert sand worms(call them what you wish) in them. So if I may ask your assistance in my problem(I'll give you a simple one to test you)before I get to telling you about myself:

Setting: The High School- Ninth grade Orientation Day.

Characters:
Alan- We met through a mutual friend, kinda. More my best friend; Brooke is close to this girl; Stacy so Stacy and I end up hanging out alot and are kinda friends-its weird. But Alan is her next door neighbor so we ended up hanging out and are freindzeish (pronouced friend-ZEE-ish)

Katie-Is the funnest girl to have around, she is a great preson to be around, oddly enough how much time we spend together in school we never hang out outside of it... Probally because of her posse, they tend to wear too much make-up and think they're better than everyone else, even though really their at the bottom of the food chain. Odd, those rules don't apply to Katie,(though she can go heavy on the eyeliner)

Mom- She's the hardeset to describe, I'll have to leave her out...

Amy- A close friend's-close friend a close friend's-friend a friend's-friend everyone knows Amy and has nothing bad to say about her. She can carry a sense of humour, and always looks good with her perfect blond hair, she has a preppy style but somhow appeals to everyone, I have yet to find a flaw its almost errie, like stepford wives perfect. Then we ended up together at a slumber party and that propeled us into an aquantinship pruseured together on both sides.

Jacob- Is my problem!

Scean One
Entering the Audotorium:

So many faces I recognize after a long summer!
Thats what it was a basic shock; then mom started pulling me through the crowd to find one of the few remaning seats. We found two allright- right up front. "Naomi!" I turn around and right behind me is Ta-dah! Amy! We exgange "Hey! Whats up? Where have you been?" and before the awnser Ta-dah! Tammy and Lydia right behind her!
Hey, you'll have to know who they are, OK

Tammy- Use to have the mythical surrounding like Amy, in a distorted way. The friend thing is true, but she use to have the wildest outfits, bright, missmatched, excedera always nice, really a role model of a sort, and a lust object for the male half of the grade(and beyond) but as things develope and things come to light; she is well, a skank now. You know, Gone with the Wind would of called her "loose" or "fast" today people call her "slutty" and "skanky". And she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder so shes sweet one day and the next she is... well if i may quote mutual friend,"Tammy is being such a b!@&# lately"

Lydia- Is so funny, shes really preppy and super skinny, we all make fun of her like I said one day, "You know if you poke Lydia in the stomach you can feel her spinal cord?" "Noo! No! I hate u Naomi!" her last cry, she was attacked by our friends walking with us, poked in the stomach. She had this insanely curly hair I would give my toes for and an insane love for "High School Musical" she really is fun, and one of my best friends,i should go back to orintation.

So they had just gotten back from NC and I tried to talk/shout to them but they started with the slide show so i had to wait. We were all seperated into groups , I was group 4, i go and meet up with them, most of them from my middle school but all the "popular" clique girls. And Alan, that i knew. So no way was i going with the girls i met up with Alan. We reached the computer lab and the woman starts talking about how to work the files ad stupid stuff everyone knew from 1st grade, so Alan, (he's tall and quiet and srtong, we went through a vicious game of red rover!, and his most known possesion, his blond afro. perfect for thowing things at, it all bounces off!) introduces me to his friend; Jacob, kinda cute bleached blond hair- a turnoff. We start talking, he turns out really cool. So Katie then comes in (with part of her posse) we leave the lab a hug "I missed you! Where have you been you never called!" thing and back to Jacob, talking. I have a way with killing a convesation, but somehow talking to him was so, so effortless, and he was so smart! But not a geeky smart or a "your so dumber than me" smart. He was a good listener too, and funny. When we got to the second stop on orienation (a "any questions?" thing.) we kept talking the whole time. Then after a bit inside Katie starts waveing her arms at me so im like "hold on a minute" "Katie, What is it?!" "Whose he?" "Alan's friend, Jacob." "He's cute"that was from a posse member; gave me a "you girls better not even think about THAT thing going on" Katie:"You should ask him out." Me: (thinking "and risk regection?") "I just met him, Katie! Besides its not like that.." "Sure" I leave back to Jacob who is kinda cute, even with the hair. OK hes cute, no denying it. "She wanted to know my name right?" close enough. "Yeah" He doesnt cuss, or he didnt in front of me and he does work with his church and all. I've never had a boyfriend before but i feel if we have any time together, maybe it was just me i thought i felt something, did he? He asked for my scheduel and we compared, no classes. I keep hopeing, a locker near mine, same lunch time, i knew that a little bit of time and we could be an item, just what i wanted, he was the idel to me. We said good-by and i left in a crowded hallway. This is the biggest "crush" i've ever had. Then it hit me. He didnt ask for my email adress or pone number or anything, was he scared, i thought i felt flrting, could i be imagining it?

Help?